An Apple a Day
Doctors, sloths, and thoughts on aging.
AN APPLE A DAY
If you went to the doctor
And they prescribed leeches,
You’d laugh in their faces
And sue them for breaches
Of oaths we’ve had for
3000 years
When Harmless Hippocrates
Introduced the caduceus
But between then and now
That’s what doctors did
They’d dress you in creatures
Or they’d slice and they’d bleed ya
Then just lay you in bed.
And of all the folks that did
What their good doctor said,
Some of them lived!
Until all became dead. THE SLOTH
The sloth sees it
The fattest, juiciest, most fermented.
The rottenest, the best.
A long, slow smile, stretches across his face.
He begins the 10 hour trek
It’s 8 total feet.
Over flat grass.
The hardest journey of his life
And the only thing on his mind.
Because if he don’t get that
Fruit, some other sloth will
And that rotted ground fruit will get him drunk
And that’s his life purpose.
That fuckin’ fruit.
Not money, property, or safety
Just fructose and ethanol.
And here’s me. On my Goodwill couch.
One hand gripping a beer,
The other hand doom scrolling a smart phone
Reading the Wikipedia page on sloths
Surprised they’re not considered primates too. BROKEN MIRROR
Goddam, I need a new mirror.
This one’s getting old
It’s showing wrinkles
And moles
And cancer spots
That weren’t there before
This mirror is bad luck
The display is bad
It’s not shattered
but it’s stuck
Only reflecting back Dad
The eyes are all wrong
They’re tired and flat
The sparkles all gone
And the pec muscles sag
The eyebrows: too long
The tattoos look faded
The teeth color is off
The face is all jaded.
The fuck is wrong with this mirror?
They don’t make ‘em like before,
Back when I was young,
They showed full heads of hair
With no grey in the beard
When the neck skin was taut
They once reflected Adonis
now it’s only iguanas.
Maybe it’s me.
Call it user error.
Does anyone know how to
Change a mirror’s filter?STAY STUPID, KIDS
Knowledge is power
Power brings with it responsibility
Responsibilities mean expectations
And expectations always lead to disappointments.
That’s how syllogisms work, yeah?
What’s a syllogism?
It’s just a ten dollar word.
Unimportant.
Nothing but trivia,
trivial even.
Don’t even bother to look it up.
Stay stupid, kids.
Be the anti-Nike:
Just Don’t.If you keep running from them, your problems can never catch up to you.